When Jesus Comes First

I still remember the first time I came across Luke 14:26. I had just made the decision to follow Jesus with my whole heart, and as I was reading through the Gospels, these words stopped me in my tracks:

“If anyone comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters—yes, even their own life—such a person cannot be my disciple.” (Luke 14:26, NIV)

I blinked. Reread it. And honestly, I thought, Lord, what do You mean by this? Hate my family? Hate my own life?

That didn’t sound like the Jesus I had come to know—the One full of compassion, love, and grace. But as I sat with that Scripture and began digging deeper, the Holy Spirit started to show me something profound: this wasn’t about hatred at all. It was about priority.

Jesus wasn’t calling me to abandon my love for my family. He wasn’t asking me to literally hate myself or those close to me. He was saying, “I must come first.”

And friend, that changes everything.

When Jesus used such strong language, He was making a point that discipleship isn’t a halfway commitment. It’s not something we squeeze in around everything else. It requires full devotion. Following Him means laying down everything we hold dear—including our comfort, our opinions, and yes, even the relationships that matter most to us.

It’s not that we love others less. It’s that our love for Jesus must be so big, so complete, that every other love looks small by comparison.

That was a hard truth for me to swallow at first. I’m a wife, a mother, a daughter, a sister, a friend. I love deeply. I nurture. I feel responsible for the well-being of those I love. But God began to show me that if I truly wanted to love them well, I had to love Him first.

Putting Jesus first doesn’t take away from the people I love—it multiplies the love I’m able to give them. When my heart is fully surrendered to Him, I’m able to love my family with a kind of selfless, godly love that doesn’t run dry. When I prioritize my time with the Lord, I become a better wife, mother, and friend—not because I’m trying harder, but because He’s filling me up.

There’s a cost to discipleship. That’s the truth no one likes to talk about. Sometimes it means walking away from things or people that are pulling us away from God. Sometimes it means surrendering dreams, timelines, or control. But what I’ve found is this: when I put God first, everything else in my life finds its right place.

I’ve learned that my identity isn’t in being someone’s wife or mother or friend. My identity is in Christ alone. And when I live from that place, I stop expecting people to fill roles they were never meant to fill. I stop needing approval from others. I stop trying to earn love that God already freely gives.

Putting Jesus first anchors me.

So now, when I read Luke 14:26, I don’t flinch. I understand. Jesus was never asking for a piece of my heart—He was asking for all of it. Not because He’s harsh or demanding, but because He knows that’s where life, peace, and purpose begin.

Following Jesus will cost you something. But what you gain in return—freedom, clarity, eternal perspective—is worth far more.

So today, I’m choosing again to put Him first. To lay everything else down and trust that He’ll help me carry it all in His perfect order.

Be blessed—and have a great day.

—Lisa