Love God, Love Others: The Secret to Agape Love

“And the second is like it: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ On these two commandments hang all the Law and the Prophets.” — Matthew 22:39-40 (NKJV)

There’s something deeply beautiful and powerfully simple about the words of Jesus. When asked what the greatest commandment was, He gave a two-fold answer: Love God, and love others. But here’s the catch—we can’t truly love others well unless we first learn to love God. Why? Because God is love. Not just loving. He is love. He defines it. He embodies it. And He teaches us what it means to love with a kind of love that changes everything—agape love.

What is Agape Love?

Agape love isn’t the butterflies-in-your-stomach, picture-perfect romance kind of love. It’s not conditional or self-seeking. It’s the God-kind of love—sacrificial, unconditional, and everlasting. It’s the kind of love that gives, even when it hurts. It serves, even when it’s inconvenient. It forgives, even when there’s no apology. It keeps showing up, not because it has to, but because it chooses to.

Agape love doesn’t come naturally to us. That’s the truth. It’s not something we can muster up on our own. We don’t wake up one day and decide to love like Jesus without first being loved by Jesus. That's why loving others starts with loving God.

Loving God First: The Foundation

Before Jesus told us to love our neighbors as ourselves, He said this in Matthew 22:37-38: “‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ This is the first and great commandment.”

When we love God first—with everything we are—He begins a work in us. He renews our hearts, reshapes our thinking, and reorders our priorities. Loving God first is about surrender, trust, and worship. It’s saying, “God, I give you my desires, my pain, my time, my future.” And in return, He pours His perfect love into us.

When we’re filled with God’s love, loving others stops being a burden and starts becoming a natural overflow of our relationship with Him.

How God’s Love Changes How We Love Others

When we look at how God loves us, it becomes clear how we’re meant to love others:

• God forgives freely—even when we fail repeatedly. Agape love forgives others not because they deserve it, but because God forgave us.

• God serves humbly—Jesus, the King of kings, washed His disciples' feet. Agape love looks for ways to serve, not for recognition but from compassion.

• God gives without strings attached—He sent His only Son while we were still sinners. Agape love gives, not expecting anything in return.

So, when we’re rooted in His love, we don’t have to force ourselves to love people—we simply reflect the love that we’ve received.

But What If It’s Hard to Love Others?

Let’s be real: sometimes people are hard to love. Sometimes we’re the ones who are hard to love. That’s why agape love can’t be based on how we feel. If love were only about feelings, it would be fleeting and unreliable. But agape love chooses.

It chooses to love when it’s uncomfortable. It chooses to love when there’s no benefit. It chooses to love when it’s been betrayed.

Agape love doesn’t ignore boundaries or excuse harmful behavior—but it always holds the heart of Christ. It’s patient, kind, and anchored in truth.

Loving Yourself Through God’s Eyes

Jesus said to “love your neighbor as yourself.” But what if you’ve never truly learned how to love yourself?

Here’s the truth: You can’t love others from a place of emptiness. If you’ve never seen yourself through God’s eyes—as chosen, redeemed, and beloved—it will be hard to give love away. That’s why loving God first is essential. He teaches you your worth. He speaks life into your identity. And He reminds you that you are enough—not because of what you’ve done, but because of who He is.

When you receive His love, it begins to heal the broken places in your heart. And from that place of wholeness, you can extend love to others with authenticity and grace.

Agape Love in Everyday Life

Loving others with agape love doesn’t require grand gestures. It’s found in the small things:

• Choosing kindness when you’d rather be curt.

• Forgiving when it’s easier to hold a grudge.

• Listening without judgment.

• Encouraging someone who feels unseen.

• Praying for someone even when you’re hurting too.

These are the fingerprints of agape love. And when we walk in it daily, we point people back to the heart of God.

Beloved, loving others well isn’t about striving harder—it’s about drawing closer to God. When we’re rooted in His love, everything changes. We start to see people through His eyes. We become more patient, more compassionate, more gracious. We love differently because we’ve been loved perfectly.

So today, let this be your prayer:“God, teach me to love You with all my heart, soul, and mind. And from that place, teach me to love others the way You love me.”

Because that’s the secret to agape love.

Be blessed, and love well.